the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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