just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
