were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
