How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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