I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
As shirtless as possible
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
