so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
