if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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