she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
