meet me or not, i'm out of control
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
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I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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