i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
