The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Quick, to the slutcave!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
