dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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