I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
