They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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