it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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