What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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