At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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