Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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