Cold hands, warm shart.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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