We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
