...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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