this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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