Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
