im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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