he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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