im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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