Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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