It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
