you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize