Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
