we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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