Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
