I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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