Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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