So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
