it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
