4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
