Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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