I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
