some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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