I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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