Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
