My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
