My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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