You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
