At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I need to align my fucking chakras
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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