One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
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