That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
