Kareoke will never be a sober sport
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize