bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
