I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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