if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
