She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
