Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
