is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
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At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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